Writing has seemed impossible lately, no time at all to be had around here.
But that's just my easy excuse. Really really I haven't been
writing because I only have one thing on my mind and I'm
afraid it is about as trite as can be. Maddie is growing up.
Last week she asked me if she could watch "Glee" at her friend's house after her church activity on Tuesday night. I told her she should probably come home and study instead.
She said she didn't have much studying to do.
I said "likely story."
She insisted she had it under control.
And then it hit me...why on earth was I sitting there arguing with her about watching a television show when in less than a year she is going to be flying off to college and doing work or watching t.v. at her very own-totally out of my control-discretion?
Arguing was crazy. I told her to go. I mean, I have to be letting go here.
Man alive it turns out I hate letting go. In my head I get that every single parent goes through this, but in my heart I feel like I am the only one whose heart has hurt like this. I am a master at visualizing the worrisome future, and I
just can't even imagine life without my sweet Maddie in the house.
Have you got out your tiny violin for me yet?
Well if you need more proof of how she is just growing right up whether I like it or not then take a gander at these pictures from her senior photo shoot.
And if that's not bad enough, which it totally is, I was talking to Marc about where we should go for our 25th anniversary (because it's only 5 years away and to travel is divine and I must have trips to obsess about) when I realized the awful truth:
In five years Katie will be gone too, Jonathan will be 17, and Ellie will be 13!
I know. It is simply too much.